Jessica Rabbit Drops The Act
by DavidPresents
Summary: When a group of tired businessmen learn that Jessica plans to quit singing at the Ink and Paint Club, they go to drastic lengths to change her mind! Will Roger race to the rescue of this damsel in distress before she is drenched with dip? Rated for light bondage.


**Hollywood, California – 1951**

While the comedy acts were genuinely entertaining, it was pretty well known that the real reason tired businessmen flocked to the Ink and Paint Club every evening was to see the girls.

One was by far their favorite.

Jessica Rabbit, the toon human wife of motion picture star Roger Rabbit, slipped a foot out onto the stage just before the curtain went up. The wolf whistles started immediately, drowning out the soft tinkling of the piano. They stopped, though, when the first note left Jessica's mouth.

The song she'd chosen was George Gershwin's "I've Got a Crush on You", a jazz standard about a woman adored by millions of men, only to fall for one the rest of the world viewed as nothing particularly special.

As she continued her song, the sultry chanteuse, dressed as usual in her slinky red dress and purple opera gloves, stepped lightly from the stage to mix in with the audience, all live-action humans. Toons were only allowed into the club as performers and workers, not as customers. She gently teased the tired businessmen as she wended through the tables. She snatched a toupee from Joe Smith, the anvil magnate, and lightly tossed it into his lap. He laughed along with his fellows who pointed at his now bald head. Manny Juarez, the dynamite manufacturer, had his tie slowly unknotted and draped over his shoulders. Jim Brown, whose factories made bombs for the Department of Defense, watched in awe as Jessica playfully plunked his fedora on her red hair.

Wild applause and more wolf whistles erupted as the curtain came down. "Thank you, gentlemen!" came the announcement. "The Ink and Paint Club regrets to announce that this was Jessica's final performance at this establishment!"

"No, Jessica, you can't give up singing here!" Joe Smith implored her.

"Sorry, boys, but I've got a better job offer," Jessica replied.

They were crowded into her dressing room backstage. "But what will we do with our evenings?" Manny Juarez asked.

"How about spending them with your wives and children?" Jessica suggested.

"Hahaha," laughed Jim Brown. "Oh, Jessica, that's what we really like about you, your delightful sense of humor!"

"And your lovely singing voice," Manny added.

"And your enormous cough, cough, cough!" Another tired businessman had accidentally stepped on Joe's foot, causing him to inhale a lungful of cigar smoke, so no one ever learned what he was referring to.

"If you stay on, Jessica, I'll give you a screen test!" Frank Johnson, a movie studio executive, promised her.

"No, thank you," said Jessica. "I've heard about your screen tests, Frank. Besides, my husband, Roger, could always get me into pictures if I really wanted to."

The tired businessmen shuffled their feet uneasily, not liking the reminder that Jessica was married. Especially not to that goof, Roger Rabbit! What did she see in him, anyhow?

"Will this genuine pearl necklace change your mind?" Howard Wilson offered. He was a stockbroker who invested the life savings of the other tired businessmen.

Jessica frowned. "Roger wouldn't be happy if I took expensive gifts from other men."

"He wouldn't have to know." Howard dangled the pearls before Jessica. "You could tell him it was an imitation that you picked up at Woolworth's."

"Yeah, how'd the dumb bunny know the difference?" Frank sneered.

"Please, Jessica, reconsider!" Joe implored her.

"No, boys, I said this was my final performance and I meant it!"

The tired businessmen looked at one another. "I think we're going to have to use somewhat more drastic measures on her," one of them suggested.

…..

"Your plan won't work," Jessica said, with complete self-composure. She was seated in a wooden chair, surrounded by coils of rope from her ankles up to her ample bosom. "My darling Roger will come to my rescue."

"How's he going to do that?" Frank asked. "The dumb bunny doesn't even know of the existence of this abandoned vegetable canning factory, much less that you're here."

"Look, Jessica, we're not really bad guys," Joe said. "Sign this standard contract stating you agree to continue singing at the Ink and Paint Club and we'll let you go."

"And if I refuse?" she asked.

"Look up," Jim invited. "You see that big vat suspended over your head? One cut of this rope and it'll pour all over you."

"And you know what's in it?" Howard asked. "Dip!"

With a wild shriek, Jessica's calm faded away. Dip was the one substance that could permanently erase a toon!

"Oh, gag her!" Howard shouted over Jessica's screams.

Manny's necktie was still resting on his shoulder, so he stretched it over Jessica's lips, tying it behind her neck. For a live-action human, it wouldn't have been much of a gag, but it silenced Jessica.

"Now will you sign the contract?" Joe asked.

Jessica looked away in disdain.

"If you don't, you'll get the dip!"

Jessica continued looking away.

"Right, she's not going to do it," Frank said. "Drop the stuff on her!"

A rope was tied to a nearby wooden beam. The rope ran up to the ceiling. It was tied at the other end to an enormous metal barrel. Manny started slicing the rope with a pocketknife.

"Can't you do that any faster?" Jim asked with a frown.

"You can give it a go if you think you can do any better," Manny snapped back.

Joe fluttered a long legal document in front of Jessica's face. "There's still time for you to change your mind."

"Not much, there isn't," Manny said. He was sawing much faster at the rope, now. Only a few threads remained!

"Please, Jessica, say yes," Joe pleaded. "Don't make us do this!"

"Don't tell me you still think your goofy husband is going to save you!" Frank sneered.

 _ **"Don't worry, my p-p-p-precious Jessica, I'll save you!"**_

"It's the Rabbit!" Jim shouted. "How did he find us?"

"I always find Jessica when she's in danger!" Roger shouted. "It's my seventh sense!"

"No, seriously, Rabbit, how'd you do it?"

"I used my deductive reasoning skills!" Roger explained grandly. "When she didn't come home, I figured some low criminal types had taken her to an abandoned building, since that's where they always go. So I checked the nearest one, the old p-p-p-piano factory, but she wasn't there. So then I checked the next nearest one, the old fish p-p-p-packing p-p-p-plant, but she wasn't there. Then I checked the old furniture factory, the old steam roller factory, the old meat p-p-p-packing p-p-p-plant, the old…"

"MPFFF!" screamed Jessica, the closest she could come to asking Roger to stop showing off his cleverness and hurry to her rescue. Manny almost had the rope cut through!

"Sorry, my p-p-p-precious Jessica, I'm coming!" Roger spun his legs, creating two blurry circles before he suddenly raced forward.

"Stop him!" Joe ordered.

Jim hunkered down, like a college football defensive lineman. Roger lowered his head and stretched out an arm. To everyone's surprise, he easily bumped the tired businessman out of his way. There was a sound of a bowling ball striking several pins as Jim fell into Joe, Frank, and Howard, knocking them over.

"You're safe now, Jessica!" Roger announced, pushing the chair. It skidded along the floor, carrying the captive damsel away from danger. "Whew! That was a close call!"

"Finished!" Manny announced, having finally sliced through the rope.

"Oh, no!" Roger screamed. He spun his legs again, but as always, he needed a couple seconds before he could move. Jessica's eyes opened wide with fright. The contents of the barrel poured all over Roger, completely drenching him!

…..

Roger clenched his ears with his paws as he staggered around the factory floor. "Woe, woe, woe! The end has come, but at least I'm going out having rescued the woman I love." He placed an arm across his forehead. "It's getting dark!" he gasped in a choking whisper. "'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.'"

He stiffened his body, closed his eye, and fell over backwards, his paws clasped together over his stomach.

"Knock off the theatrics, Rabbit," Frank growled. "I've seen better acting by the mannequins in Macey's window. Besides, you know that wasn't really dip in that barrel."

"It wasn't? Jeepers, do I feel better now!" Roger bounced to his feet. He shook himself vigorously, spraying water everywhere.

"We were only trying to scare Jessica," Jim explained.

"However, we've got some real dip handy," Joe added.

"You mean you tired businessmen just happen to keep a barrel of dip ready in this abandoned factory?" Roger asked in disbelief.

"Yes, that's right," Howard agreed. "You never know when we're going to need to make a toon see reason."

Frank laughed. "Boys, let's get Jessica set up again. And somebody do something about that rabbit!"

"You're not going to do anything to Jessica!" Roger shouted. "Because I'm here to save her!"

He almost reached Jessica, but Frank yanked a piece loose from a wooden pillar. Using it like a pinball flipper, he swung at Roger's stomach, sending the cartoon rabbit rolling across the factory.

"Ouch!" shouted Roger as he crashed into a pile of cans, which exploded on impact. Roger staggered to his feet, and gasped with horror at his body, covered in red. "Blood!" he exclaimed. "Oh, wait." He thoughtfully licked his hand. "Tomato juice! But what are these doing here? I thought this was supposed to be an _abandoned_ factory!"

Jessica called out to him through her gag.

"Coming, my p-p-p-precious Jessica!" Roger raced forward, this time for Frank to drive him into a pile of cans of creamed corn.

"Is everything about ready?" Joe asked.

"Got the real dip hoisted up now," Jim agreed.

"You know, this would have been a lot simpler if we hadn't created such an elaborate deathtrap," Manny pointed out. "We could have just tossed the barrel over her.

Howard gave him a disdainful look. "Bring the dame over!"

As Roger struggled to his feet, Jim pushed the chair with Jessica back into position. "It's really dip this time," he told her. "Please agree to continue singing at the club. I hate to do this!"

As before, though, Jessica looked away from him.

"Fine!" Jim said. "Come on, Manny slice that rope. She's never going to agree to it."

"You got it," Manny agreed, once again getting out his pocketknife.

"You must have a death wish, Rabbit," Frank growled as Roger came again. He swung the improvised bat, sending Roger crashing into yet another pile of cans.

"Last chance, Jessica," Joe said, and then seeing Jessica still wasn't going to change her mind, tore the contract up into long shreds. "I'm sorry about this, but not so sorry I'll do anything to stop it. This is the end. Goodbye, Jessica."

Manny sliced through the last strand of rope. The metal barrel turned over. The sickly liquid poured out. It clearly wasn't water this time! In less than a second, it would be all over Jessica, erasing her forever!

…..

"Yuck!" A stream of what looked like green slime spurted from the smashed cans. Roger spat out a mouthful, although not before he'd swallowed plenty. "It tastes like stinky tennis shoes someone left out in the rain. I'll never understand how P-P-P-Popeye can stand to eat spinach all the time. Hey, what's happening to me?"

Roger's biceps started bulging, his whole body filling up with strength from the spinach. "Jessica!" he shouted in alarm, realizing the dip was only inches away from her head! A tremendous boom rocked the building as he flew like a missile and carried her and the chair away at supersonic velocity, so that not even one drop of the toxic liquid touched either of them.

He gently placed her down. "I'll be right back, my love!" he announced, spinning away to face Frank. "I'll take that!" He snatched the broad stick of wood from him. He crushed it with his hands, reducing it to toothpicks. He bounced up and down, landing blows on all five tired businessmen, whom he laid out without the slightest difficulty. "That will teach you to kidnap my p-p-p-precious Jessica!" he shouted, turning on a water main so the dip would wash away.

Jessica glanced at her reflection on the shiny metal wall. "Uh-oh," she thought to herself. She slipped an arm free from the ropes and pulled her gag down. She applied lipstick and rogued her cheeks before pulling the necktie back up. She fixed her eyeshadow, checking the results carefully, and then jammed her arms back into the ropes, all so quickly that Roger didn't notice a thing.

"My hero!" she exclaimed as Roger tugged on a loose stand, causing the ropes to fall from her body. She swept him into her arms and crushed him against her bosom, smothering his furry face with kisses, causing Roger's ears to stick straight up in ecstasy. "I knew you'd come to my rescue!"

"Of course, Jessica!" he agreed. He glanced at the unconscious tired businessmen. "I gave them the p-p-p-pounding they so justly deserved! Only I can't help but feel, Jessica, that they still got off too easy. They need something worse to happen to them, only I don't know what!"

"I have an idea," Jessica said, "if we can find a phone."

"Wouldn't it be convenient if one day everyone carried their phones around with them all the time?" Roger suggested.

"Oh, Roger, you and your silly ideas!" Jessica giggled.

"Who are you going to call?" Roger asked. "The p-p-p-police?"

"No, think of some people even tougher than them."

"Um… the United States Marines?"

"No," said Jessica. "I'm calling their wives to come pick them up. And I'm going to tell them exactly what happened here too!"

"Jeepers, Jessica! They're really going to be sorry when they come to!"

…..

Roger unknotted his bowtie. "Jessica, why did those tired businessmen kidnap you?"

Getting ready for bed was an easy task for Roger, who simply had to slip out of his overalls and into his pajamas. He bounced up and down in excitement on the bed, since all the indications were that Jessica was in the mood for playing patty cake that evening.

Jessica had a great deal more work to do, though. She sat at her vanity table, wiping lipstick from her lips.

"They weren't happy to hear that I wasn't going to sing at the Ink and Paint club anymore," she explained.

"You're not?" Roger asked in astonishment.

"Roger, we discussed this before." Jessica plucked out her fake eyelashes. "I'm starting my new job tomorrow. Don't you remember?"

"Of course I do," Roger said nervously. "I was checking to make sure you remembered." He quickly changed the subject. "So, Jessica, what do you think makes those tired businessmen so tired? I think it must be all that golfing. I know if I had to shoot eighteen holes every afternoon that I'd be p-p-p-plumb worn out! JESSICA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING‽‽‽"

To Roger's horror, Jessica pulled her red hair from her head and shook the wig. It didn't stop there, though. She scratched under her chin, pulling her skin up and over, until it came off her face and then her entire body.

She was now a brown and white rabbit, with a blonde tuft of hair on her head!

"Mmm, it feels so good to finally be able to take that off!" she said, stretching.

"What have you done with my real Jessica?" Roger shouted. He frantically raced around the bedroom, peering under the bed and into the closet, as if he'd find her hidden there.

Jessica stood up. "I'm your real Jessica! I wore that body suit all this time, because I knew a human woman would go over a lot better with those tired businessmen than a rabbit. But now that that job's over, I don't have to keep up the pretense any longer!"

"No, it can't be true! You've done something with Jessica! Where is she?"

"I thought you'd be happy, Roger. After all, you're a rabbit, and I'm your Jessica!"

"No you're not! You're an im-p-p-p-poster! I know what must have happened. The tired businessmen switched you for her. They must still have Jessica. They've got her tied up. Jessica, darling, I'm coming for you!"

"You're not going anywhere." Jessica locked the bedroom door and smoothed her long ears. "Pucker up and give me a great big kiss, lover boy!"

"No! Go away!" Roger dived under the covers, shaking so hard the bed frame rattled.

"Roger, I'm getting very tired of your naughty behavior," Jessica said, sounding like Disney's Lady Tremaine ordering a particularly humiliating chore for Cinderella. "I want you to come out at once!"

Roger clasped his hands together. "P-p-p-please give me my Jessica back! P-p-p-please!"

"Roger!" Jessica called. "It's time to get up!"

Roger slapped his hands over his eyes as Jessica pulled the covers off him, but then, realizing she was sounding more like her normal self, cautiously slipped two fingers apart to take a peek. "Jessica, you're you!" he exclaimed happily.

"Well, of course I'm me," she laughed. There she stood, fully human with her long, red hair, peekaboo style, wearing only a translucent negligée. It was a sight that probably would have sent the tired businessmen to the hospital emergency room with heart attacks, had they seen it. "Who else would I be?"

"Oh, Jessica, I had the most awful dream!" Roger exclaimed. "You had turned into a rabbit!"

"Would that be so awful?" Jessica asked. "After all, you're a rabbit!"

"It's because I love you just the way you are!" he announced.

"Aww," sniffed Jessica.

"I'm sure glad all that about you being a bunny is over!" Roger said a few minutes later.

"Well, not exactly," Jessica said. "In fact, I need to change into a bunny right now!"

"What do you mean? You're not going to take off your skin and hair? P-p-p-please tell me you're not!"

"Of course not, Roger. You'll see what I mean in a minute."

Jessica stepped behind a changing screen. Although she and Roger were married, this was the 1950's, so there were limits. Roger could see her silhouette, though, as she shucked off her negligée.

"Oh, no, she really is a rabbit!" Roger wailed.

The figure behind the screen had two long bunny ears sticking up out of her head, and when she turned, Roger could make out a fluffy cottontail!

"This must still be a dream," Roger decided. "I've got to wake myself up." He pulled a mallet from his dresser drawer and pounded himself on the head several times in succession, but the figure behind the changing screen hadn't changed.

"What do you think, Roger?" Jessica asked, stepping out.

She wore a white collar with a black bowtie and matching cuffs, along with a shiny red leotard. Roger could now see that the cottontail really was cotton attached to the leotard, and the bunny ears rose from an Alice band in her hair. "Whew!" he exclaimed.

"I told you I was starting work today at LA's new bunnygirl club," she said. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"I guess that's why I had that dream," he confessed. "But everything's okay, because I like you as this type of bunny!"


End file.
